Reputation Of Grief
by anxiousgeek
Summary: Sam/Pendergast, Sam/Cam friendship, set mid 9.15 Ethon.


"Carter?"

Cam called out into the dark locker room but received no reply. Daniel had seen her coming in here but it was empty, just the low glow of the bulb in her alcove lighting the room. He was about the leave when he saw the extra shadow, the dark form of her hunched over in the corner of the room. Her knees were drawn up and she was resting her head against the wall to her side, her eyes open and staring at him without any real focus.

"Sam?" When he got no reaction he hunched down to get on the same level and shook her gently. "Sam?"

"I'm okay," she said quietly.

"That's a lie."

"Nothing gets past you," she said with a smile.

He dropped down onto the floor next to her, nudging her with an elbow until she straightened up a little.

"What's going on Sam?"

"Lionel."

Cam frowned for a moment.

"Pendergast?" he asked. She nodded, then buried her head in her arms as the tears started. He went to put an arm around her but thought better of it.

"I didn't realise you two were close."

"We, we were-" she stuttered.

"Tell me you weren't having an affair."

"No!" she cried, her head snapping up, her face wet, eyes red. "No," she repeated, quieter this time. "We were together, before he met Jess. We've been good friends ever since."

"I didn't know."

"No one knows," she said, "it was a long time ago."

"Is this why you wanted to deliver Landry's letter personally?"

"Someone should be there with Jess."

"You know her too?"

"Went to the wedding."

"Right," he frowned. "How old are his kids?"

"Six and seven."

"So it was a long time ago."

"Twenty years."

"Wow."

"I was but a lowly lieutenant," she said with a laugh, "Leo was a captain, and skinnier back then. He struggled to bulk up."

"Leo?" Cam asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't tell you that."

"Okay."

"I didn't tell you anything."

"O-kay."

zzzzz

"Captain," Sam said, nodding as she approached Lionel Pendergast in the halls of the base.

"Lieutenant," he replied, looking around them before grabbing her wrist and pulling her into a closet with a swift tug. He clicked the light on as she shut the door behind them, lighting them up in dull yellow.

"Leo," she said, in the same serious tone as a moment before but with a smile on her face.

"Sam, don't call me that."

"It's cute."

"I am not cute."

"Oh I don't know, the bed hair is cute," she said, reaching up to ruffle his hair with a grin.

"Stop that!" he cried, reaching up to smooth is back down. She kissed him, hindering his efforts but he didn't care much.

"Sorry," she mumbled against his lips.

"I forgive you."

She laughed again and they kissed some more, wrapping their arms around each other.

"You know, I didn't think you'd do something like this," he said, when he needed to breathe.

"Like what?"

"Date a superior officer. Make out in a storage closet. It's not like the Sam Carter I heard about."

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't want to be that Sam Carter," she muttered, pushing him back.

"Sorry Sam, I didn't mean anything by it," Lionel said, taking her hand and pulling her back across the small space towards, him, so they were chest to chest again. Lips to lips.

"I hate having a reputation."

"I know." He ran his finger over her cheek, her neck, ran his hand down her back, pulling her against him. "I never cared about your reputation."

"I know."

She smiled and kissed him again, wrapping her arms back around him.

"How risky is this Sam Carter?" he asked, with a grin she rarely saw.

"I didn't think you were the type of guy to have sex in a storage closet," she said, rotating her hips slowly against his.

"I'm not, you bring out the worst in me Sammy."

"Ugh, don't call me that."

"I was trying it out," he said laughing, "Sammy."

"Leo."

"I'll stop calling you Sammy if you stop calling me Leo."

"Fine, Lionel."

He pushed her back against the door and she arched her body into his, kissing him and pushing his t-shirt up. She bent down to nip at his abdomen, making him yelp and they both froze.

"Maybe we shouldn't," Lionel said, looking down at Sam where she remained bent down, pressed against the exposed skin of his stomach.

"Our quarters aren't much better Leo," she whispered. She let the nickname fly.

"Maybe I know a place," he said. She straightened up. "Out of the way, full of guns."

"The weapons lockers."

"The way your eyes lit up then is a little disturbing Sam."

"I've never had sex somewhere that dangerous."

"The weapons lockers?"

"One wrong move, you knock a grenade over, blow up, we get a little enthusiastic, you knock a trigger, lose your balls-" He winced and she laughed.

"They're not loaded."

"We could load a few up, make it more exciting."

"Sex with me not exciting enough already?" he said.

There was a pout in his tone but not on his face, Sam wasn't sure his lips were made to pout.

"Very, I'm just saying, it could be even more dangerous."

"That gets you off doesn't it?" he asked. She grinned and kissed him. "I bet that's something about you your reputation misses."

"We can't go tonight," she said, ignoring him. "Colonel Brown is running night ops."

"Secret night ops!" he said. "How did you know that?"

"The part of my reputation where I know everything is true," she said, trying not to laugh. "But I also happen to know," she continued, running her hand up his t-shirt again, "that Colonel Davidson's team should be finishing up in half an hour."

"Sounds like a plan Lieutenant."

"I'll go first," she said, going for the door handle. He grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Why don't you want anyone to know about us?" he asked. "We're not in the same chain of command, hell if Sargent Peterson hadn't blown up our mess hall we probably wouldn't have met."

"Why are you asking now?"

"I've been wondering for a while."

She smiled at him, cupping his cheek and kissing him on the lips.

"I don't want to have that sort of reputation either."

She peeled his fingers from her arm and left the closet.

zzzzz

"I just don't need age old gossip starting back up, for Leo's sake."

"I won't say a word."

"Not to anyone," she said, voice stern.

"I wasn't even -"

"You were thinking about telling Daniel," she interrupted, "or Teal'c, and they both have other things to concentrate on right now."

"Okay," he said, nodding. "Are you sure you want to deliver Landry's letter?" he asked.

"Someone should. Someone should let Jess know what he did. The sacrifice he made. How many lives he saved."

"I can do that," he said. "You're right. Someone should be there. You can go another time."

"You sure?" He nodded and she rested her head on his shoulder, taking a deep breathe and letting a few tears fall. "Thanks Cam," she said, pushing down a sob. He put an arm around her and let her cry into his shirt.


End file.
